You Are Not Your Patterns!

I recently shared on social media that one of my very first clients from 18 years ago returned to coaching with me—this time to explore what’s next in retirement.

What struck me most was how quickly the connection came back.
I remembered the conversations, the turning points, the hesitations. A couple of weeks ago, I asked him to commit to a step before our next session. And I saw something so familiar: a head tilt, a nervous smile, a little squirm in the chair.

Eighteen years ago, I didn’t fully understand what I was seeing. Like most coaches at the time, I wasn’t trauma-informed. I didn’t know that was a freeze response. Back then, I probably would have talked it through—or skipped over it entirely. He would have agreed to the task, not followed through, and we’d spend the next session talking about why. A frustrating cycle.

But now, I have new tools.

I immediately noticed his somatic response and gently said, “Do you notice that you’re squirming?” We slowed down. I helped him get present to what was happening in his body and asked if the experience felt familiar. He said it did—he felt that way almost every day.

This is where my new tools come in. In the last few years, I’ve become an Emotional Resolution (EmRes) practitioner, and I now bring these somatic tools into my coaching. Instead of trying to push through or think his way out of it, we worked with his body’s natural ability to resolve the old emotional pattern.

By our third EmRes session, he faced that same dynamic—and this time, it didn’t stop him. The old issue that had held him back for decades had less of a grip.

Here’s what I know now: every client carries some anxiety or behavioral pattern rooted in old experiences—whether born from big traumas or small ones repeated over time. These old issues can quietly shape how much freedom, calm, and fulfillment we experience.

I’m grateful to have a bigger toolkit now—tools that help people get out of their own way faster, and experience life with more clarity, ease, and confidence.

Old issues don’t have to keep running the show. With the right tools, we can meet them, resolve them, and finally live the lives we’ve been working toward all along.

If you reflect: Are there reactions, patterns, or behaviors in your life that don’t serve you—but you’ve come to believe are just part of your personality? Do they feel like things you just have to live with?

I want to tell you: they are not who you are.
They can be transformed.

Here’s a link to learn more about Emotional Resolution (EmRes) and how it might support your own shift:
👉 https://www.michaeltertes.com/emres